TDAWG's Cerebral Levity

Lets See If My Readers Are Smarter than the Average Bear

2018-07-08T14:10:00.000-06:00

A bear walks south for one kilometer, then it walks west for one kilometer, then it walks north for one kilometer and ends up at the same point from which it started. What color was the bear?

The bear was white because it was a polar bear.

The only place on earth where a bear can go south, west and north equal distances and end up where it started is the North Pole.

The distance the bear travels actually does not make any difference -- the bear would be making a circle around the North Pole. East and West you travel along (latitudinal) parallels which are circles equidistant from the poles. North and South you travel along (longitudinal) meridians which are circles that cross both the north and the south poles.

In case you're wondering why the answer couldn't have been the South Pole, it's because there are no bears in Antarctica - only penguins.

Also, with regard to the North Pole, bears of other colors, e.g., grizzlies, Alaskan black bears, Russian brown bears, etc., never venture north of the continental land masses. Polar bears are not restricted by the boundaries of the land because they have partially webbed forepaws and are excellent swimmers. Their scientific name, Ursus maritimus, means "sea bear".

There is great concern that the habitat of polar bears will be destroyed if global warming continues at the same rate as it has during the last 25 years.

Funny Joke - The Pickle Slicer

2008-08-10T10:16:00.000-06:00

John worked in a pickle factory ...

He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but John indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, John came home absolutely ashamed. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, John?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, John, you didn't", she says. "Yes, I did."
"My God, John, what happened?", she asks. "I got fired" he says. "No, John. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."

Funny Joke - Appointments

2008-08-10T10:08:00.001-06:00

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps
his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm ...

The wife turns over and says: I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

Funny Joke - Sex Stats

2008-08-10T09:57:00.002-06:00

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated
next to an absolutely gorgeous woman ...

They exchange brief hellos and he notices that she is reading a book having something to do with sex. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting manual about sexual statistics."
"It indicates that American Indians have the longest penis on average and Polish men have the biggest average diameter." "By the way," she says, "my name is Jill, what's yours?".
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."